Two cannibals were eating a clown when one turned to the other and said,"Does he taste funny to you?"

A man goes to see a psychiatrist.
The doctor says, "your crazy"
So the man says, "I want a second opinion.""OK. You're ugly too!"

My wife my wife. I took her to an Italian restaurant one night. I asked her
what she wanted. She said "the waiter". Two dumb guys go bear hunting.
They see a sign saying bear left. So they went home.

How can you tell your wife is dead? The sex is the same But the dishes start
to pile up.

I had a friend who was a clown.
When he died all his friends went
To the funeral in one car.I collect rare photographs-
I got one where Norman Rockwell
Is beating up a child.

So if a couple from Kentucky get divorced, are they still brother and sister?

I called down to the desk. I said, "is this room service?" she said, "yes".
I said "send up a room."

I put an ad in the classifieds: "wife wanted". The next day I got hundreds
of replies. They all said the same thing. You can have mine.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only shorts made from saran
wrap. The sychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
I went to see a psychiatrist. He said, "tell me everything." I did, and
now he's doing my act.

My boyfriend just married a girl who's bisexual. Claims he's going to change
her. He did. Three years later she's a lesbian.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "hey buddy why the long face?"
"Doctor, my husband limps because his left leg is an inch shorter then his
right leg. What would you do in his case?" "Probably limp"

Did you hear the one about the senator who referred to the NAACP as the
National Association of Retarded People? When the slur resulted in an uproar,
he apologized - not to the NAACP, but to the "retarded people".